Archive for November, 2007
Tiger Woods’ new yacht?
If I had his money I would buy a bigger yacht then anyony else too.
You know what they say ( you can’t hide money).
Now you know
I knew it, anyone with a face like that could’nt look the way he does. Jackson is the first AI with out the I.
Choose your contractor carefully!
Beautiful house, right? Sure. But too bad about having to rip up your walkway
and replant your garden every time you take the car out of the garage.
A Bride and her pot
A woman wearing a wedding dress and parked beside a pond drove into the water Wednesday after officers tried to take a bag of marijuana from her, police said.
When the state fish and game conservation officers and a nearby resident tried to rescue the woman from her sinking sport-utility vehicle, she bit the neighbor on the arm, authorities said.
The 42-year-old woman was eventually taken to shore, then to a hospital, police said. It was not immediately known whether she was hurt or what her condition was.
The conservation officers were checking on the woman, who was parked alone by Saltmarsh Pond in eastern New Hampshire. She became upset and reached for a bag of marijuana, police said. When one of the officers tried to grab the bag, the woman drove off, speeding around the parking lot and then into the water.
She will be charged with reckless conduct, simple assault, driving after suspension and transporting a controlled drug, police said.
Why you can’t change a tire with a gun
A man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs, sheriff’s deputies said.
The 66-year-old man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks at his home northwest of Southworth, about 10 miles southwest of Seattle, and had gotten all but one of the lug nuts off the right rear wheel by Saturday afternoon, Kitsap County Deputy Scott Wilson said.
“He’s bound and determined to get that lug nut off,” Wilson said.
From about arm’s length, the man fired the shotgun at the wheel and was “peppered” in both legs with buckshot and debris, with some injuries as high as his chin, according to a sheriff’s office report.
“Nobody else was there and he wasn’t intoxicated,” Wilson said.
The man was taken to Tacoma General Hospital with injuries Wilson described as severe but not life-threatening.
Fire fighter joke
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he
notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders
hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a fire fighter’s helmet. The wagon is being pulled
by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a
closer look.
“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.
“Thanks” the girl says.
The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied
the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles.
“Little Partner”, the fire fighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to
run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar too,
I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replies thoughtfully, “You’re probably right… but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”
I hope this never happens to you
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other
stall saying: “Hi, how are you?”I’m not the type to start a conversation in the men’s restroom
but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!”And the other guy says: “So what are you up to?”What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this
is too bizarre so I say: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I
hear another question.“Can I come over?”Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could
just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, “No……..I’m a little busy right now!!!”Then I hear the guy say nervously…“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other
stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!
