Archive for March, 2008
Ashley Dupre was the Girl Gone Wildest
Ashley Alexandra Dupre not only got freaky for Gov. Spitzer, but during her week with Joe Francis and Girls Gone Wild, she was the wildest one of the bunch. She claimed to be a 21-year-old waitress named Amber and was so wild the Girls crew ditched her, according to the Palm Beach Post:
Amber hopped on a table in the middle of a hotel lobby crammed with frat boys, one producer told The Post, and launched into a raunchy strip-tease. That’s when the camera crew packed up and returned to their monster bus to leave town.
When asked by our reporter about the party, Amber said: “It got crazy. It was everything you thought it would be.
“It’s not stupid to do it (take off your clothes for GGW). It’s all fun and games.”
It should also be noted that Ashley was actually 17, and not 21, but since she didn’t engage in any sexual conduct her nudity is surprisingly permitted by the state of Florida. That being said, had Ashley been Joe Francis’ cousin, sex would’ve been permitted under the Unspoken Law of the South provided Joe paid the customary fine of saying Dale Earnhardt was Jesus on wheels.
Photos: Splash News
Kim Kardashian wears lingerie (Dance, puppets!)
You ever get in one of those moods where you just want to post pics of hot celebrities on your awesome blog all day? If you couldn’t tell by the Jennifer Aniston and Erika Eleniak (I think?) posts, I’m in one of those moods. To wrap this show up, here’s buttlacious Kim Kardashian modeling lingerie designed by Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin. Also with Kim is Aubry O’Day of Danity Kane and Pussycat Doll Melody Thornton. But none of that really matters because, holy shit, it’s Kim Kardashian in lingerie. I could write the location of the Holy Grail* down here and you wouldn’t even notice. That’s why I love you guys. *sniff* You make me so damn proud…
*Hint: Take a closer look at Lil Jon. Hyeah!
Photos: Kim Kardashian Official Web Site
Jennifer Aniston: For your bikini viewing pleasure
Yesterday it was short shorts, now today it’s Jennifer Aniston in a bikini. Evolution is awesome. Take a gander of Jennifer chilling in Miami where’s she’s filming Marley & Me. Also scope out this pic (Click here as if your life depended on it.) where, if I’m not mistaken, Jennifer Aniston is challenging Kate Hudson to an Ass Off. Of course, the real winner is Owen Wilson that hook-nosed rogue. Time for drastic measures. Hammer, meet nose. *CRUNCH* Yup, it definitely broke right off. Not good. Fluffy, no, bad kitty! Get that out of your mouth. Don’t go outside! Ah, shit. Great, now the neighbors are calling the cops. They think I’m Michael Jackson. It’s all a misunderstanding, folks. Ha ha I hate kids! No, really, bring one over and I’ll kick him into the garage door.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin
Erika Eleniak still alive and soooooo hot
Does anyone remember Erika Eleniak? The smoking hot babe from Baywatch, Under Seige and, more importantly, Playboy. Basically she’s a national treasure. The paps caught some shots of her filming a movie that I can’t find a reference to anywhere. This might be an Ashton Kutcher prank, but who cares? He dug up Erika Eleniak and tossed her in a swimsuit. It’s the archaeological find of the century. I mean, she’s pushing 40 and looks banging. I’d throw 22-year-old Lindsay Lohan under a bus to get at Erika. Of course, there’s lots of things I’d throw Lindsay under a bus for - like a Klondike bar. Or a shiny penny.
Photos: Flynet
Heather Mills’ cash grab wages on!
It’s clearly whores and prostitutes week here on The Superficial. Continuing that trend is the one-legged wonder Heather Mills. She’s already bilked Paul McCartney out of $48.6 million and is now trying to cash in even further by auctioning off exclusive interviews. Page Six reports:
One insider said Mills is demanding 1 million British pounds - or slightly more than $2 million - to not only talk, but share intimate photos and tape recordings she made of the ex-Beatle without his knowledge. Mills is also said to be pitching to American networks, which could get around their “we don’t pay for news” proclamations by paying for her pictures and tapes. “She’s greedy,” said a person who knows of Mills’ dealings. “She should just go away, but she loves the spotlight and the attention.”
I guess Heather’s sticking to the trusty habit of opening her mouth then getting paid for it. Ha cha cha cha! But, no, seriously, someone needs to fill this woman’s leg with termites.
Photo: Splash News
Kristin Davis’ sex tape: My long-awaited thoughts
Over the past few days provocative photos of what may or may not be Sex and the City star Kristin Davis have surfaced on the net. Do I think it’s really her? Absolutely. I mean, everyone’s been nude on camera. Even Hillary Clinton who, I must say, was a true professional. Miss you, babe! Anyway, TMZ is giving their final word on the whole situation and shooting down the rumors these pics are part of a sex tape:
The photos, we’re told, were snapped in 1992 by an ex-boyfriend. That’s right, they are just photos — no sex tape, fellas! According to reports, 20 photos are making the rounds, but actually it’s not quite 20.
We’re told the ex-boyfriend was pissed at Kristin and then sold the photos to a third party. Classy, huh? The third party got involved in a business venture with another guy and we’re told that guy pilfered the pics and they ended up online.
That guy is supposedly Scott Fayner who had the above pic on his website, but as of this post it’s gone and there’s only a link to a porn site where you have to pay to see the rest. Then, once you pay, surprise!, you don’t see them. Not that I paid or anything and you’ll never prove it. *throws wallet out the window* HA! I win!
NOTE: Photo links to a ridiculously NSFW pic that shows just what’s in Kristin Davis’ mouth. And, no, it’s not a Crossainwich but good guess.
Photo: Scott Faynor
Heath Ledger’s family fights over his cash
Heath Ledger’s family have already begun the infighting over the handling of his estate. That didn’t take long. Apparently Heath’s uncles want Heath’s father Kim to be removed as executor because he completely botched the handling of his own father’s estate 15 years ago. Heath’s uncles have already told Michelle Williams father that Kim is a poor executor, according to People:
Ledger’s uncle Mike insists the family has nothing to gain by removing Kim: “Our only vested interest is to assure that Matilda is well looked after.”
Mike added that Kim’s recent statement that Matilda “will be taken care of” was not enough assurance. “When you are talking about large sums of money like this,” he says, “it should be an independent executor, but Kim hasn’t chosen that way.”
In case you didn’t know, Heath Ledger’s will was written in 2003 before he met Michelle Williams. It left everything to his parents and sisters. Which shouldn’t be that bad for Michelle considering she still has all that sweet Dawson Creek dough. Just don’t tell James Van Der Beek. He was paid in forehead cream.
Photo: INFdaily.com
Ashley Alexandra Dupre already was a Girl Gone Wild (Gasp!)
Surprise! Ashley Alexandra Dupre already flashed her boobs for Girls Gone Wild back in 2003. A prostitute got naked for Joe Franics? What are the odds? The AP reports:
“It’ll save me a million bucks,” Francis told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “It’s kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch.”
He said his employees got to work on pulling the footage and planned to offer it on the Web site by Tuesday evening, with a free sampling on the front page and the rest available with a $29.95 monthly subscription.
Uh oh, no million bucks for Ashley. Let this be a lesson, ladies. Girls Gone Wild might seem like a good idea (Note: it’s the best idea.), but it could come back to bite you in the ass. You know, after you inevitably become a prostitute and have sex with middle-aged men who turn out to be elected officials. Then you can’t cash in because Joe Francis owns the right to your ta-ta’s. That’s just poor business planning. In between tricks, get yourself down to the community college and sit in on some classes. You might learn something and, please, there’s no need to thank me. Like Jesus I’m just here to help others - and maybe score a freebie.
Photo: The Smoking Gun
Tara Reid wears bikini, blindess doesn’t ensue(?!)
Maybe my brain is permanently damaged from the Amy Winehouse post or I’m still drunk from lunch yesterday, but these pics of Tara Reid in Mexico are surprisingly not bad. I see she received the sheet I mailed her to cover up those trouble spots. Read: her ass and stomach. I also sent Tara a paper bag to cover her face but I don’t see it. She probably tried to fill it with booze only to realize, like so many of us have, that grocery bags make shitty cups. For the record, I’m not making a joke about Tara Reid’s debilitating drinking problem. I’m making a joke about Tara Reid being a colossal idiot - who loves Big Gulps full of gin.
Photos: Flynet
