Archive for the ‘funny’
Jokes
This is about any funny or stupid jokes and pictures of out of the ordinary actions.
Top Four Adult Jokes
>>
>> Fourth Place :
>>
>> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his
>> Elbow goes into her breast. .
>> They are both quite startled.
>> The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma’am, if your heart is as
>> soft as
>> Your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.’
>> She replies, ‘If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in
>> room 221.’
>> —————————————————————
>> —-
>>
>> Third Place:
>>
>> One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
>> Rubbing his wife’s arm.
>> The wife turns over and says ‘I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a
>> gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.’
>> The husband, rejected, turns over.
>> A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again
>> ‘Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?’
>> —————————————————————
>> —-
>>
>> Runner Up:
>>
>> Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
>> for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to
>> his
>> wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to
>> stick his penis
>> into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see
>> a sex therapist
>> to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.
>> He vowed
>> to overcome the compulsion on his own.
>> One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could
>> see
>> At once that something was seriously wrong.
>> ‘What’s wrong, Bill?’ she asked.
>> ‘Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous
>> urge to
>> put my penis into the pickle slicer?’
>> ‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t’ she exclaimed.
>> ‘Yes, I did.’ he replied.
>> ‘My God, Bill, what happened?’ ‘I got fired.’
>> ‘No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?’
>> ‘Oh…she got fired too.’
>> —————————————————————
>> —-
>>
>> Winner:
>> A couple had been married for 50 years.
>> They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the
>> wife says, ‘Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here
>> at
>> this breakfast table together.’
>> ‘I know,’ the old man said. ‘We were probably sitting here
>> naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.’
>> ‘Well,’ Granny snickered. ‘Let’s relive some old times.’
>> Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
>> ‘You know, honey,’ the little old lady breathlessly replied, ‘My
>> nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.’
>> ‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ replied Gramps.
>> ‘One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.’
>>
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